Both Yin and Yang are needed for our sex lives to flourish. Where do you fall on the spectrum? Partners in relationships can both be dominant in one type, but we most often see opposites attract.
When Yang dominates a relationship, sex can be passionate at first, but eventually, this gives way to dissatisfaction as the emotional component of the relationship is ignored. You might see resentment and frustration manifest toward the Yin partner and an inability to be vulnerable.
On the other hand, when there's too much Yin, the relationship is sexless. If there is no initiator, there is no sex. When sex does occur, it's described as "boring" as Yin lacks creativity and sensuality.
Combining Yin and Yang in the bedroom requires honoring our evolving natures. The balance of Yin and Yang is ever-changing because people are ever-changing. In the bedroom, that means honoring and asking, “Where am I now? Where is my partner now? What do I want now?”
Touch, smell, sound, taste, vision... Which senses cause you sexual "blocks?" Perhaps touch feels unnatural, painful, or irritating. Maybe you are self-conscious about the way you smell and aren't comfortable with letting your partner go down. Or maybe some sounds or things your partner says turns you off...
Moving past these requires communication with your partner. Start by sharing your "blocks" with your partner.
Explore what you don’t like, explore what you do, and share when you’re ready.
Laurie and George discuss the 'still-face' experiments and how that shows up in the bedroom.
Sex and emotions—there’s a delicate balance between the two, an overlap that can’t be ignored. Emotions can enhance sex or inhibit sex, and sex can enhance emotions or inhibit emotions.
Borrowing concepts from the attachment theory, we dive into how sex and emotions intertwine by exploring the role of the Pursuer and Withdrawer...
Great episode for EFTers – So important for therapists to know how to leverage the sexual attachment cycle in order to get change in the emotional attachment cycle and vice versa!
While we don’t always fall neatly into a cycle, there is always a cycle, some level of interdependence. This interdependence can shift as patterns and is not concrete. A Pursuer can become a Withdrawer, or you might find that you were a Pursuer in an old relationship and a Withdrawer in your current relationship. The patterns are not your personality; they are a response to the complexity of sexual and emotional connections.
Understanding yourself and your partner requires intention but a balanced connection is worth the effort.
What can we learn from Hollywood about balancing sexual 'yin and yang'? In this episode, we'll focus on sensuality as a pure act of giving, and on the importance of balance between the yin (sensuality) and the yang (assertiveness) of sex.
Shifting from yang to yin asks us to unravel our unrealistic views of sex, and Hollywood occasionally provides the perfect how-to guide. Let's talk about three movies with scenes that perfectly capture yin sensuality...
The movies we discuss all focus on men performing sensual acts for women – but ALL genders crave sensuality. A back scratch, a hair massage in the shower, an affectionate touch in the middle of the day, all of these efforts allow the mystery to unfold between partners.
Focusing on the mystery is focusing on the journey – which is where endless possibilities unfold...