A person’s sexual history is profoundly revealing.
Those who have attempted to discuss sexual histories with their lover know the conversation can elicit different emotional reactions. It can be awkward to ask your partner about their past or have your partner ask you about your sexual past, but the outcome of braving such a conversation is stronger intimacy.
Join George and Laurie as they get beyond numbers and into curious questions. Find success in discussing sexual histories, learn about your partner's accelerators and brakes.
Caveat: use caution if your partner is a jealous person.
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How do we heal the pain created by reaching for our person and finding they aren’t there? We’ve all experienced hurt and disappointment in relationships. When a healthy attachment is present, the pain is acknowledged, and you move past it together. However, when there’s an attachment injury, the process of moving forward is blocked...
Dr. Sue Johnson defines an attachment injury as a “feeling of betrayal or abandonment during a critical time of need.” If our lover isn’t there for us in those moments or doesn’t show up, it’s incredibly painful, and our bodies are smart enough to avoid future pain.
The pain we experience in these moments is sent to our limbic system. In response, our limbic system releases stress hormones, alerts our amygdala to danger, and embeds a message in the hippocampus that says, “Do not depend on this person again.”
The good news is that it’s never too late to heal an attachment injury! The body and the brain stand outside of time. Our bodies hold memories, and we can go back to them and heal them now. While you can’t change what happened, you can change how you feel about what happened, which can change everything.
Let’s talk about HOW to heal these attachment wounds… together.
Let’s talk about all things smooches! Types of kissing, “good” and “bad” kissers, what a kiss means to you…
Labeling someone as a “good” kisser implies a one-size-fits-all technique, but in reality, we don’t have good and bad; we have compatible and non-compatible kissers. Kissing is a matter of preference, attraction, attunement to your partner, and perhaps even genetics.
Once we become sexually active, we often throw kissing into the foreplay category and give it little thought, but kissing can be the end game. Kissing doesn’t always have to lead to sex! Kissing can be exciting, and my challenge to you is to let it stand alone. Spend a day making out with your partner and explore how that feels together!
Communication is, not surprisingly, key when it comes to kissing.
Does your partner prefer wet kisses or dry kisses? A hot and heavy makeout or soft and slow caress? Do you like to be touched while kissed? Where and how?
The bottom line is that you don’t know what your partner wants and they don’t know what you want unless you talk about it. When we explore kissing with our partner, we learn to dance together, and we learn to enjoy the kiss!
Shame and disgust are heavy words that inhabit dark places, but we can't avoid dark places if we want to experience the highs a relationship can provide emotionally and sexually.
The power of shame is in secrecy. We don't want to show our shame. We don't want to be rejected, so we lock away parts of ourselves and pray that no one sees us. The irony is that the antidote to shame is connection and empathy, gifts we can only receive when we allow others to see us.
Within the sexual cycle, shame takes many forms. We might feel shame over what we've done, over things that have been done to us, or over our desires and fantasies. Many feelings of shame and disgust are rooted in our childhoods (or trauma).
If one partner brings up a new sex act and their partner has a huge reaction of disgust, it can create deep shame for simply bringing it up or even disgust at one's self for having "such" ideas, further fueling the shame cycle.
So how do we close the gap and find attunement within this mismatched experience? The answer is communication.
Listen as Laurie and George roleplay and show you how to have these conversations with your partner – with safety.