Is it worth it to accept something that your partner wants to give you sexually instead of holding out for what you really want? Is something better than nothing? Laurie and George use a tried and true EFT principle called "slicing it thinner" - find a way to help your partner get closer to what you want without them losing themselves or feeling compromised.
The million dollar question! (for pursuers) how do you get someone to pursue their own pleasure. In our Q&A, Laurie and George see a reader’s point. For so many reasons it works better when your partner is engaged sexually - they supply desire that fuels the sexual fun, it’s a turn-on to see your partner in uninhibited abandon plus it takes the pressure off from always having to initiate. But there’s a flip side that is often dynamic.
Keeping connected is easier when we're in green brain - when our brain says we are safe, cared about and even loved - when we can relax, talk, listen with openness. Red brains are escalated, tense, maybe angry or in total shut down. Listen to George and Laurie talk about pulling a partner in red brain into the calm connected place where sex and connection can happen.
FOREPLAY welcomes Emotionally Focused Therapy, founder Dr. Sue Johnson to talk with us about George's driving and the sexual cycle. We laughed together about their early relationship and more seriously about George asking for help after 9/11 with the couples he was seeing and Sue's generous response. Sue gives us a keen example of a uber sexual pursuer and how his needs for attachment drive him even thought his behavior pushes his partner away. Listen up to our discussing with someone who has changed the world with her theory and life's work!
For an EFT Therapist or to purchase her bestselling books LoveSense or Hold Me Tight - contact Sue's organization: ICEEFT.com
Listen to this emotional episode to to help the withdrawers in your life. Trained to suppress emotions, withdrawers have decided early in life - it's is not okay to have needs. Their nervous systems don't trust because in the past people haven't shown up for them. Even if their pursuing partner are longing to be close and cover them with their love, their hearts believe others are not safe or dependable. George and Laurie think about the actual words that withdrawers might say when they finally reach out to their waiting partners.
We all have scripts that have been handed down. Our families have told us how we are to behave sexually. Gender roles proscribe the way we should act in the bedroom. Our culture tells us what makes us valuable in sex. Let's examine these scripts instead of just unconsciously following them. Free yourself from scripts that might have outlived their purpose! Welcome special guest - Dr. James Hawkins from the postcast: The Leading Edge!
Please check out Uberlube.com/Foreplay for the slickest, slipperiest sexual experience. And support the podcast!
What does your orgasm feel like? An orgasm is so powerful – It’s almost indescribable!
In this episode we talk about how to put words to it! And give you tips on how to talk about orgasms with your partner. Laurie and George also open up about what their own experiences are like… Practicing what we preach – VULNERABILITY!
If your partner asked you to describe how an orgasm feels in your body, could you do it? Would you do it?
It's difficult to find the words to describe the feeling and to explain what the body experiences during sex. Sex is, after all, a non-verbal language. However, that doesn't mean we should resign to remaining non-verbal about sex. Working through the discomfort of such an intimate conversation can improve the quality of our sexual encounters and, subsequently, our romantic connections.
If you're ready to talk about the big O, we have 5 open-ended questions you can use to keep the conversation flowing smoothly while improving the emotional connection you have with your partner.
The conversation isn't meant to put pressure on either of you. The ultimate goal of sex is pleasure and connection, not orgasm. Instead, it's intended to open the door to communication. It's a way to explore how orgasms work and don't work while encouraging intimacy. As the saying goes, "communication is lubrication."
We talk a lot about romance outside of the bedroom, but what does a romantic interlude look like? “I wish my partner were more romantic in bed” is a statement we often hear from women. “Are you kidding me?” is a retort we often hear from men. “I thought we were done with all the jumping through hoops after we got married.”
While it is true that many men feel as described, it’s also true that both men and women appreciate romance and thoughtfulness in relationships. Bringing romance to a relationship will differ for everyone but based on our experience, there are 4 important elements for adding spice to the bedroom!
Let's break down each of these steps!
In this episode, we explore grief through the lens of sexual intimacy... For many couples, sexual intercourse is a safe space where they can be vulnerable, knowing that they can reach out to their partner and their partner will reach back. No matter what you are experiencing while working through sex and grief, the goal is not to force one behavior or another but to communicate so that you can return to that safe space when the time is right.
As therapists, we often see clients who successfully navigate the emotional aspects of grieving while failing to address the sexual side of their relationships.
It’s not uncommon for us to work with couples who are not having sex. Often, those couples can trace the loss of intimacy back to a period of grief. It’s understandably a difficult position: How do you maintain a sexual connection with your loved one while honoring the grieving process?
Grieving is a complex topic. Sex is a complex topic. Talking about both may seem awkward – but for anyone in a relationship, the reality is, sex and grief will eventually converge. When couples are faced with the terrible loss of a loved one, this conversation can comfort and add to their security with each other when they need it the most.
In memory of Mary Louise Faller
Many couples have never discussed sharing their fantasies with the goal of enhancing their mutual sex life. How you go about this discussion makes all the difference. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and author and couples therapist George Faller as they discuss how to incorporate fantasy into your sex life.