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Foreplay Radio -- Couples and Sex Therapy

A sex podcast to help couples keep it hot! We know that successful marriages & long-term relationships need to be both emotionally connected and sexually erotic. Certified sex therapist Dr. Laurie Watson, PhD and EFT global, couples therapist-trainer, George Faller, LMFT, discuss everything from best sex techniques to solving sexual problems like: low desire, not enough sex, no orgasms, difficulty with arousal, ED, PE, lack of attraction. They help couples feel the emotional intimacy necessary to fall in love again & rebuild trust using the smart science about the pursuer-withdrawer dynamics in relationship. From a man and woman's point of view, George and Laurie have the fun, frank, informative & fascinating conversation you've always wanted to have about love and sex! Subscribe to us today!
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Foreplay Radio -- Couples and Sex Therapy
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Now displaying: 2020
Sep 18, 2020

This week it is Average Jane's turn! Join sex therapist and author Dr. Laurie Watson and couples therapist George Faller as they talk about what the sexual experience for an average woman is and how to improve their sex life!

Check out our sponsor Uberlube! Use the coupon Foreplay!

Sep 11, 2020

George wants men to have a method to improve their sexual game in 3 zones—pre-sex, during sex and post-sex in 4 different areas: heart, mind, body, and genitals. Twelve variables for guys who like stats to measure their self progress. George gets into specific numbers for the average Joe in each area and has a plan for what they can do if they don't like their own assessment.

Sep 4, 2020

As a sexual pursuer, how can you open a conversation with your sexually withdrawing partner? What are some typical questions that pursuers ask and how can they ask them in a better way without being dismissed?

Ever asked your partner: What are your sexual fantasies? What turns you on? How do you like to be touched?

These questions are often met with an "I don't know" response - and we know it's so frustrating to the sexual pursuer who has planned and thought about them only to be seemingly met with disinterest and rejection. Hear Laurie and George talk about how sexual pursuers can open communication with their partner about sex and reduce the pushing energy that blocks their partner? Open up to curiosity and leave them wanting something more.

Aug 28, 2020

Let's talk about “killjoy” – the negative cycle that squashes the love life is so many millions of couples out there and how we can name it, notice it and do it differently. Sexual discrepancies are the most common thing we're going to see over 80% of couples are going to find themselves in a dynamic where one wants more than one wants less. In his marriage, George calls the negative cycle “California" and Laurie calls it “Drowning” with her swimmer husband. But there's something really fun about naming the negative cycle, the merry-go-round Groundhog Day, whatever word you want to come up with. The beautiful thing about doing this is it starts to externalize the problem. The problem isn't Joe. The problem isn't Mary. The problem is the dynamics that they've unconsciously created in this attempt to be with each other. George and Laurie role play a new way of communicating in “killjoy”!

Please support us by ordering Uberlube at Uberlube.com with the coupon "foreplay".

 

Aug 21, 2020

Is the orgasm gap fair? Laurie and George don't think so. But it's so natural to feel criticized when your partner tries to tell you what they need; how can we get excited about feedback to change this problem? How often do normal couples have bad sex? George suggests often enough that it's coming for you! (you gotta expect it!) But if you strike out... get back in the game. Do men who worry about their penis size even know what's normal? How big is big enough? What's so special about sex in Finland - what are they getting right for women? We got the stats!

Aug 14, 2020

Why do YOU want to have sex? George and I talk about the 5 most frequent motives to get it on! Pleasure, Intimacy, Approval, Coping and Procreation. Each motive can be used in sexually healthy relationship as sex serves many purposes for a couple. Sometimes though some motives fail, like when pleasure is never accompanied by intimacy or when the anxious need from approval doesn't develop into pleasure.

Please support us on Uberlube.com/FOREPLAY

 

Aug 7, 2020

Welcome Dr. Emily Nagoski, PhD, fellow podcaster and award-winning author of the New York Times bestseller, Come As You Are: the surprising new science that will transform your sex life

 

Dr.Nagoski's mission is to help us live with confidence and joy in our bodies! Together, Emily, George and Laurie want to help people have a healthy view of sex and challenge people's assumptions about what they believe and where they get stuck. We all see EFT as a way to help couples deal with the difficult feelings around sex where we often are anxious about hurting our partner's feelings or fearful of being found sexually inadequate.

 

To help us understand desire, Emily tells us about where to find our brakes (all the good reasons not to be turned on... potential threats) and accelerators (everything we think, believe, imagine & touch, taste, smell, hear that has sexual connotations.)  Fun topics in this podcast: look at your genitals! (if you want to make friends.) She and George talk about the complicated relationship men have with their penises. Nagoski uses a hedgehog visualization to gracefully accept our feelings around sex. Ever wonder why your body may be turned on but you really don’t want sex? Emily shares the concept of non-concordant sex – when our body’s arousal and subjective sexual feelings don’t align.

Please help support our podcast and get a 10% discount on Uberlube's fabulous lubrication - Uberlube.com/Foreplay

Find Emily!!!:

book - Come As You Are

workbook -The Come as You Are Workbook
new book!! - Burnout: the secret to unlocking the stress cycle
podcast - the feminist survival podcast 2020

Jul 31, 2020

Knowing that their withdrawal triggers their partner, what can someone who feels attacked or criticized do - other than walking away? Wrestling with themselves and naming their feelings, gives them a moment to feel instead of shutting it down. Recognizing what happens in their body makes some room and space for the withdrawer distress. And becoming curious about their pursuing partners criticism and anger helps them reconnect emotionally.

Jul 24, 2020

Men want an engaged partner and frequently ask for communication in bed.  Yet, how can a women ask for what she wants without sending the message that she is critical and unhappy? Laurie and George discuss how a woman can offer sex tips so her guy can really be the best in bed for her especially if he is a sexual withdrawer. 

Jul 17, 2020

Pursuers have beautiful motives to push toward their partners - wanting more connection, more intimacy and more sex. But they often feel rejected and are told they are too much which escalates the cycle.

Learn two things that help the pursuer calm down. 1) Remind yourself that you have good intentions to create change. 2) Use an image of someone who made you feel safe - a therapist, parent, grandparent or even of yourself comforting a younger version of yourself. See how taking a wider lens including both peoples vulnerabilities can stop the pursuer-distance cycle.

Subscribe to get all the latest episodes!

Dedicated to Dr. Jeanne Yorke.

Jul 10, 2020

It's so hard to ask for what I want in bed or how to answer what do you want me to do to you sexually. Why? George says we either want to protect our partner from something hurtful and we're avoiding what we feel. But without talking about it, we shortcut that delicious exploration, even the missing spots and getting redirected - that is part of the magic of excitement. Our 4 questions are open-ended and hopefully spark real conversation between you and your lover - even if you've been doin' it forever.

 

Check our our great sponsor Uberlube! Use the coupon code "Foreplay" so that they know we sent you!

Jul 3, 2020

Mailbag! - A 49 year-old virgin wonders if it too late for love or if she has lost her mojo. George and Laurie discuss having hard conversations about racism and sex including a listener's feedback. A woman having trouble with physical intimacy after her husband's emotional infidelity.

Jun 26, 2020

When we are falling in love, we notice all the positive attractors in our partner. Over time, the inevitable negatives which were there all along become more noticeable. The key to long-term relational connection is to intentionally replicate that focus on the positive attractors over the negative.

Check out our great sponsor, Uberlube! Use the coupon code Foreplay to let them know you are a listener!

Jun 18, 2020

We all resonate with how sexy confidence is in the bedroom. But how do we get it back when we've been repeatedly rejected? Or how do we love ourselves and our imperfect bodies when a critical voice inside our heads screams about our flaws and jiggly thighs? Listen to George and Laurie talk through the ways that can get our game on!

 

Visit our sponsor Uberlube. Use coupon code "Foreplay"!

Jun 11, 2020

George and Laurie add their hearts to the conversation about racism. We need to have the conversations that are uncomfortable. If we're marginalized, we have to protest - the rage and anger makes sense. As a former first responder, it breaks George's heart to see the men watching the murder of George Floyd. Where were their feelings? Shut down. Blocked. Trained to be closed. If we can train people to shut down their feelings we can train them to turn on their feelings and be in touch when their humanity is essential. Join Laurie and  George as they talk about what's happening in the world. 

 

Check out our sponsor Uberlube. It is an awesome product! Use the coupon code 'Foreplay'.

Jun 4, 2020
Join us for a sample conversation with "Eleanor" who is always anxious about sex, preoccupied with whether or not she is pleasing her husband, but unable to be present for her own experience. She doesn’t want to risk hurting her husband even if it would make the sexual moment better for her. Her husband thinks she's not into it, but hear how she worries and actually thinks about it constantly without ever knowing if her husband is happy with her. We have heard hundreds of similar stories about the disconnects that can happen in sexual relationship. We invite you to consider opening up a discussion with your lover about their experience in sex.
 
Help support us by checking out our sponsor Uberlube. Uberlube has great lubricants! Go to uberlube.com and use the coupon code ‘Foreplay’ to get savings!
May 28, 2020

Conversation is the best foreplay. But to have a deeper, more satisfying relationship you must ask deeper, specific questions. Have you ever wanted to talk to your husband or boyfriend about what he really thinks about what is going on in his bedroom? How to Talk to a Man About His Sex Life (Assessment - Part 3) will give you so good questions to ask and ways to make sense of his answers. In this third episode on assessing your sexual relationship, join sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples therapist George Faller as they talk about the kinds of questions they use to understand and assess the depth of a couple's connection.

May 21, 2020

In therapy and in our partnerships, sharing our sexual histories takes vulnerability and courage. Have you told your partner about your sexual development? So often we don't even bother to think about what was formative and how our experiences, our strengths, our trauma may influence what we feel in bed. This episode, relationship experts, licensed couples therapist guru George takes the role of sex therapist and sex therapist Dr. Laurie role plays a patient talking about her history.

Check out our sponsor Uberlube! Use the coupon code "Foreplay" for a nice discount!

May 14, 2020

We invite you into a thoughtful reflection about what is happening in YOUR sex life. Bring your spirit of curiosity and stay with us in the discovery mode as our “client” played by the brave volunteer - George - answers this first set of questions. Pull back the curtain and hear what Laurie thinks about his answers as a sex therapist. Think about these beginning questions, (not easy questions) like… What would you want your partner to know about you sexually? Laurie reflects on how important vulnerability is when communication with your lover the deeper aspects of these questions. Our patient acknowledges his anxiety and how most of the time he communicates in frustration with his partner instead of coming from his heart’s longing.

We ask: What is going on in your sex life now? Can you describe the problems? When did things change between you or when did the problems start? What have you tried to resolve these issues. Do you and your partner have desire for each other? What turns you on the most? When do you feel most erotic with your partner? What are your 3 most important expectations in bed?

We gratefully acknowledge the work of EFT founder Dr. Sue Johnson, EFT Supervisor Mike Moran in the development of this sexual questionnaire as well as the work of Dr. Zoya Simakhodskaya, Ph.D for pioneering the understanding of the integration of the sexual cycle into the couple emotional cycle in emotionally focused therapy.

May 7, 2020

The stay-at-home orders across the country because of the Covid-19 Pandemic has increased the economic and health security. Dealing with feelings of helplessness is a drag on individuals and impacts sexual desire. Join sex therapist Dr. Laurie Watson and Couples therapist George Faller as they talk about how to maintain sex during 'war-time.'

Check out our sponsor Uberlube. Use the coupon code 'Foreplay' to get a discount! Silicone-based lubricant for keeping it hot!

Apr 30, 2020

What turns him on? Visual stimulation is very important. Seeing his partner naked works if women can let go of their insecurity.  Join sex therapist and author Dr. Laurie Watson and Couples therapist George Faller as they talk about what turns men on.

Apr 23, 2020

A married woman listener asks George and Laurie about how to overcome 15 years of shame regarding her thoughts about the 'right kind of sex to have', 'what is good and acceptable in a sexual encounter', and even shame over how much she should be enjoying sex. George remarks, that shame is the biggest turnoff and cut-off for sexual desire...

Please support our sponsor Uberlube by buying their high-quality silicone lubricant.

Apr 17, 2020

In this Mailbag episode, a listener raises a question about given the difficulty many women have in orgasming through intercourse, why would women want to have sex? Sex therapist and author Dr. Laurie Watson and couples therapist George Faller discuss the different viewpoints towards sex that men and women have.

Apr 9, 2020

The Pursuer - Withdrawer dance can escalate negative emotions and lead to misunderstanding what each partner is wanting, thinking, and feeling. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples therapist George Faller as the talk about the process of escalation and de-escalation.

Apr 2, 2020

STAY CONNECTED! - our most important mission during the COVID-19 outbreak! In times of stress we need to turn to each other. George and Laurie talk about their own struggles and hope to offer comfort to their listeners...as well as some thoughts about how to grow after being battle-tested!

Plus, some a nudge for creative sex during quarantine!

 

 

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